Day 20 of 30 : Challenged

I never really liked it when one of my family members gets sick. My coping mechanism in these kinds of situations is bad. It may seem like I don't care but I really don't like the feeling when you worry about something you care for. 

Yesterday my sister was rushed to the hospital since she was having fever for more than 3 days. My father decided to let her have CBC just to have his peace of mind because my sister did have that case before.

When the results were handed to my mom a few hours after, she found out that my sister only had 60 for her platelet count. I was scared at the same time mad since I never wanted any of that to happen. She should have been more careful, if only she would listen to us every time we tell her not to forget to put on her insect repellant lotion. I was shaking while spacing out in front of my PC. My mom was busy packing the stuffs she’ll bring to the hospital while I was just watching the Boys video in YT.

I can’t help thinking “Why Now???”…it’s only few days left before the big day and I can’t help worrying with things like this. Also a 6.9 earthquake was experienced in our area…was that a bad omen? Hopefully not, I want to travel soundly and worry free. 

I am again starting to think that this decision is selfish. 

I’ve been really excited about this trip, not only because I will see SJ but also this is something that I have been dreaming of. A reward that I will grant myself after all these years of making my family first in line and the center of my life; please don’t ask me to give it up. I’ve come this far to just let go…